Yearly Archive: 2006

The Two-Week Malaise (aka 2006 Government Monkey Disease) has held me in its grip since I was in Vegas. For the first time ever, I’m finding no one that will give me grief about...

I can’t remember where I read it, but for some reason I believe that Adolf Hitler was so concerned about potential body odor that he went to extreme measures (I think it was surgery)...

My wife insists–and only because I think she is a little jealous–that I have a man-crush on Absinthe. It’s rare for me to pick up new friends, and when I came home from Vegas...

Indeed, I think I am, but not so much that I’m ready to bet the farm on it. For those who don’t know, I’m just back from a trip to Las Vegas. And by...

I’ve been home for a while and it’s been nice. Though I’ve taken a couple of roadtrips in recent months, my domestic and international travel schedule has been slow. In fact, the last time...

It took fighting brain-splitting traffic, holiday shoppers, a tree salesman with a remedial knowledge of simple machinery, and a new-fangled Christmas tree stand, but by the end of the day, it was, of course,...

There was only one other guy there. He was unkempt. His shirt hung untucked over his gut. The mop on his head hadn’t been cut in some time and it was obvious he’d combed...

A creature of habit, and a habitual creature, I’m back on a rhythm that makes me think 2am is 6pm. The house is quiet enough for sipping beer and turning my noodle inside-out for...

I can’t find my clever lever at this late hour, but I have to remind myself to congratulate the ad buyers for the overnight 4:30 am showing of “Scarface” on AMC. In one commercial...

Well, I blew it. I spent the first half of my life in the middle of Thanksgiving dinners hosted by some of the best home-cooking chefs I’ve ever known. My maternal grandmother and mom...

I’ll be the first to tell you, I’ve not been the biggest fan of 2006. In fact, it’s pretty much sucked. A good friend died, my grandpa died, other friends suffered some really bad...

I would convince America to let me be its pool reporter for the new O.J. Simpson book and FOX television interview. It’s not a personal selfishness so much as a desire to keep the...

Update: Come here looking for an answer on the Jimmy Crack Corn Cingular commcerical? All your answers can be found at Jimmy Crack Corn and Cingular is Forced to Care. So, after spending nearly...

It’s pretty clear how Americans feel about marriage. They work–like they have a fever in their gut–to make sure gay people (or any pair of people that isn’t a man and a woman) cannot...