Somewhere along the line, I got fat.
Hard to say exactly what happened. Normally I can count on my sedentary lifestyle to not otherwise affect my shape. Ever since I gave up sugary sodas about seven years ago, I have been able to maintain a weight that I didn’t mind announcing. [...]

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“Holy, hell, I know I’m tired, but that looks like my stomach.”
I was laying on my side with a straw in my mouth and sucking on the worst shake I’ve had in my life. I remember some huckster giving me a cement-mixer in college (Baileys and lime juice in a static snot ball). [...]

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I am afflicted.
I have tinnitus. It’s only in my right ear. Despite its constant manifestation, it doesn’t bother me that much. I’m to blame for it, almost certainly. Countless live shows, too much time standing in front of giant amplifiers, too much caffeine. They can all cause it. I don’t care. It’s not going to [...]

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