When we last left our intrepid hero (or the guy who doesn’t save receipts), he was awash in the Big Box Blues. I figured I’d offer some resolution.
Turns out, after all the work to get the receipt to confirm our warranty, it didn’t matter, because we (and, I’m pretty sure you can read that [...]

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I hate this part.
There was a time when when my not-yet-atrophied heart thought about the romantic nature of gift-buying. One year, my wife and I went to Aruba, swam with youthful indifference in the neck-deep water, and nearly got eaten by wild desert dogs. Three years ago, we drove a convertible from San [...]

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As I type, my entirely family is huddled in the master bedroom. The dog is on a leash, the wife and I are sitting in bed, and the boy is running around on the hardwoods like a squirrel on meth. The Worker Men (which is what I may call my next band) are [...]

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In April 1999, I walked into a new job. It was a bustling newsroom that had already known my wife for a few weeks. The first desk I passed was one of those places where deskless people sit–a shared space that served as a home for the homeless, a place of respite for [...]

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My parents were due at the airport in half an hour. A contractor was due to arrive in the same time. I had better things to do than wonder why the kitchen floor was flooding. However, as it seemed everyone else’s best solution fell under the “beach towel” category, it fell to [...]

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9:00am: Two days ago, my wife told me both of our uptairs toilets had problems. By problems, she meant they were flushing, but doing so all over the damned floor. I accused her of being unlucky and told her to buy some Drano. No Home Depot product worked. A day [...]

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