In the past seven days, I have seen two people throw up in public.
The first time, I was leaving my house. A crew of high school cross country runners were out for a morning jog. The pack was at my street when I pulled out of the house. Two streets down, I [...]

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I have never really cottoned to that whole Theory of Relativity thing.  Einstein was a weird cat and I think probably a closet prankster.  Nobody wears his hair like that unless he is up to something. 
I’m supposed to believe that the faster I move, the slower time goes.  That does nothing to explain how [...]

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It’s 7:15am and I’m in the back of a Mercedes in Monte Carlo. I’ve been on no sleep for as long as I can rightly remember. My bags are in the trunk, my seatbelt is on, and my sunglasses are deflecting the first real sun I’ve seen in days. I’m not one [...]

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The hibiscus took on leaves while I was gone. I’d been home for two days before I noticed. When I left, the season was trying to change, but couldn’t quite get over the hump. Now, the lambs and lions have found other things to do and I’m back where the blossoms have [...]

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A few minutes ago, I looked at my watch and realized I hadn’t peed in more than eight hours.
That’s not me.
No time for a proper write-up here, so I offer a picture I took last night that asks…Where’s Otis?

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I don’t understand the electronic device rules on airplanes. I hardly see how my iPod and headphones could possibly make a plane crash. Pilots apparently believe in a little thing called electro-magnetic interference (EMI) and how it affects their navigation system. Science doesn’t necessarily agree with the pilots, but because it spends [...]

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Milan was probably the scariest part.
A year ago at this time, I had to deal with Atlanta. If you aren’t from around these parts or don’t do much business with Delta, you may not know Hartsfield International as well as I do. Imagine Hell, but farther South and subject to routine delays [...]

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From the They Can’t Be Serious Department:
Long version: Nipple Ring Search Dispute
Short version: Girl with nipple rings forced to remove said rings after failing x-ray machine at Lubbock airport. Hires Gloria Allred (because, who doesn’t?) and gets the Transportation Security Administration to admit its procedures are more than a little messed up. [...]

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Updated below
“This is the outrage story of the morning,” CNN anchor Tony Harris said.
Let me be clear. I rarely take seriously anything that comes out of Harris’ mouth. In the past quarter-century, CNN has gone from the “little network that could” to one of the best sources for news on the planet to [...]

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By the time Sam Bush stepped to the stage on Friday afternoon, the south Florida sun had breached the clouds and enforced every sunscreen rule my mother ever preached. I sat on the ground in front of the Swamp Stage and readied myself to see the show. The Joker brought me a frozen drink, [...]

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